Am I Asking Too Much?

Has there ever been a time in your life when you sit there and think....."What am I doing wrong?"

(Ugh.....of course, the kids are still up at 10:20pm on a school night when they should be sleeping .....wait a second as I go and have a mommy dearest moment.....)

ok ~ back

Right, what am I doing wrong......Well, this little question has been plaguing my mind for awhile and the reason for this post is because I am trying to figure out if I'm being totally ridiculous. When I think of my parenting "skills", if you can call it that, part of me says....you're doing a great job.....you're a good mom. Then, when we hit one of those bumps in the road....the other part of me shakes her head and screams.....you're messing up....you're being too hard on them and you're going to ruin them forever!


Am I? Do I expect too much from my children?

In all honesty, I don't think that I do, but maybe my prospective is off. Maybe I need to re-evaluate the situation.

My kids do a thousand and one things, to the point that I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, but these are activities that they love and enjoy, so.....I take them even though we are way overbooked.

Then, when it's time to study, I expect them pull their weight. I expect them to complete their homework and projects on time and to study when they need to. If they need help, they know to ask for it, otherwise, I assume they are doing ok.....I'm not one to correct their homework, because I feel the teachers need to see what they are doing right or wrong....so, I do not check their assignments - I just remind them to get it all done.

Some of my friends and family have suggested that maybe I'm too hard on the children when it comes to academics - that I expect to much - "Jules, they can't be perfect." The thing is, I'm not asking for perfection.

Really, I'm not.

I'm just asking for As. That's it. A simple A.

I know you're thinking I'm a Tiger Mom. Well, here's a little background reading that might shed some light on that issue.

I'm not the type of mom that puts her kids in all the top classes and demands straight As. I am, however, the type of mom who expects her kids to do well in the courses they are placed into by their teachers. Is this wrong?

Am I being unreasonable? I don't think so..... If you can spend hours on the computer playing Mine Craft or watching My Little Pony or reruns of Victorious..... you can study a little bit and get at least a 90% on your test (see....I'm not even asking for 100%).

But.....perhaps this is too much pressure.....maybe, I need to take a step back.....hmmmmm

The jury is still out on this one.

My take - you work hard....you play hard.

I might expect a lot from them academically and we definitely burn the midnight oil here, but we also make sure that we make the most of our family time.....when we get them.

What are your thoughts.....this is such a fine line.....how do you balance out your expectations?

Time Out for Family Time

The sands of time waits for no one.

I will be the first to admit it......I do not spend enough quality time with my children.....and time is running out.

Our family has always been and still is Overbooked and whatever time we do have together often falls short of what I would deem quality time.

Our days..... consists of me driving the kids all around the county, practically live in the car  (easily putting about 20,000 + miles on my car in less than a year). When we're home, it's a total frenzy....cooking, phone calls, homework, cleaning, lessons.....and then next thing you know its bedtime, which is another battle that I wish I didn't have to deal with (check out Bedtime Battles).

And, it seems to me that all I ever say to my kids are.....hold on a minute....I'll help you later.....let me finish this....I'm on the phone....wait, I'm doing something....or (and I'm just telling you this because I want to be honest here) leave me alone.....I can't think with all of you bothering me!!!

So, where is the quality time we see families sharing on TV? Okay....maybe not so much on current TV, but more so on older shows like..... Little House on the Prairie? yes....I'm that old.

That's what I want!

My husband works insane hours at several different places and a lot of his shifts are overnights, which makes family time that much harder to coordinate.....rarely, do the stars align and we are all home together at a normal time.

So, lately, out of desperation for quality family time, I've actually kept the kids home from their scheduled activities so that we can spend time as a family unit.....not really husband approved, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!

Just the other day, my husband and I really made an attempt to hang out with the kids, on a school night to say the least. We played a modified version of Pictionary, or we would have been there forever....but it was still tons fun and we got to laugh and joke around with the kids....and really enjoy each others company.

Can you guess what these were suppose to be? answers at bottom of post

You know....we've all said it before...."the kids are growing up so fast"...."in a blink of an eye they will be gone".....all this is so true and I don't want to miss anymore than I have.

As parents, we are so busy with trying to stay afloat, doing this and that for the kids, that we lose sight of the fact that we really should be doing things with them. There's going to be a day when we are finally able to slow down and spend time with them, but they may be too busy for us.

Does this happen in your home? How do you carve out true family time? Please share your secret to true quality family time......

answers: Bite, Doctor, Cheerleader, Healthy

Can you guess what song lyric I will be posting on Lyrics to Love tomorrow?