A-Hem.....A-Hem...Your Skirt is Too Short!

Don't look now, but have you taken a good look at the length or lack of length in the clothing that young girls are wearing these days?

Courtesy of Samantha Villagran

I love fashion and I think it's a great way to express yourself, but when you are thirteen or fourteen years old, there has got to be some limitations. Don't you think?

Last year, I attended an event where the father of the birthday girl commented on the inappropriate attire that their guest were wearing. A sea of crazy heels, strapless tops, short dress...and a constant battle between adjusting and readjusting filled the room. He mimicked the girls.... as they desperately pulled their dresses up to keep it from falling only to shimmy it down to cover their tushies... Ridiculous was the only word he could mutter.

For those of you who have children in middle school and high school, I'm sure that you have heard parents whispering in corners.....look at that dress....it's soooo short....she can't even walk in those shoes.....oh my God, would you let your daughter wear that....

Would you?

How do you tell your daughter "No", when all her friends are wearing short party dresses and 5 inch heels that they can barely walk in? (UGH....one of my biggest pet peeves is seeing a woman wobble her way across the room....it's so unattractive....)

I really honestly don't know what the answer is, but I think that we need to sit these girls down and have a serious talk.

So girls, listen up!

You're young and beautiful. Be confident in who you are. Don't parade yourself around in short skirts and high heels, thinking your all that.....cause honestly, it's back firing.....you're giving off the wrong signals. Be classy......leave something to be desired. Don't give it all away at first glance, because they won't be coming back for more.......or if they do, it's not for who you are as a person.

Too harsh? Maybe....but it drives me nuts to see these young girls primping themselves up as if they are these sexual creatures ready for the picking....and I don't care if they're wearing this designer dress or that designer dress....women and girls are different....what might be appropriate for us is just not appropriate for them.

I'm not a "hater"...I know where I am in my life and I embrace it wholeheartedly, flabby tummy, wrinkles and all (and to my girlfriends out there, if you ever catch me wearing an outfit that is TOO young for me - tell me!).

I'm just sad.....

...sad to see the beauty and innocence of young women fall victim to society's depiction of what is considered "attractive".

How do you feel about this? Do you think that society and the media have skewed the perception of beauty for young women? Have they under-minded our daughters and and shaken their self confidence? What's the solution?

Before I started writing this post, I had discuss this topic with a good friend of mine and she sent me this message that was posted by a friend of hers:

I see more and more girls & ladies who have one thing missing that they should never lose... what is it? Class. Agree? Be classy girls, keep your standards up there. Be hard to get. Accept nothing but the best for you. You are worth it. And ladies... just picture a classy gal in your head, look up the word and strive for that. It's a good thing.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I believe that we as women and mothers, should unite and firmly stand our ground. Let's not let our daughters measure their self worth by their hemline.

And girls, know this.....you deserve only the best....don't lower yourself and your standards, instead, raise them and rise above them.

Be strong.......Be classy......Be girls.

It is a good thing.

Courtesy of Ignacioleo Leonardi

Geeks Rule the World

So, it's been over a week since I wrote this post and I've had some time to edit and contemplate if I should or should not post it.

Obviously, you're now reading this, so here we go.....

Let's talk about an issue that strikes a cord with many of us. No, it's not religion and it's not politics....well at least not politics as in the who's ruling our country thing....but more like "politics" as in who's ruling our schools.

You see...today, like every other day, I was driving my son to school....and  like every other day, I tried to give a little motherly advice. I like to use this precious time I have with the kids to administer a little "word to the wise", with the sincerest hope that it will help them deal with various issues that might arise during the course of the day -- and believe me, there are a lot of issues in middle school.

So, this brings me to why I am writing this post. I'm a bit annoyed at myself. As I drove towards the school and started my little "talk", I was instantly shocked with what was coming out of my mouth. The advice I was giving was not at all what I believed in and I couldn't fathom why I would even suggest this to my child. (in retrospect, my "advice" stemmed more from fear/worry) What did I say? Well, read on.

Now, my son is an artistic and a fairly smart kid. He is as skinny as skinny can be, non-athletic and just down right......"geeky" as he would call himself. He knows he has weaknesses, but most importantly, (and I love this about him) he knows he has strengths....he knows himself and he is comfortable with who he is.

My son...I wish I could see the world through his eyes

Luckily and surprisingly, my son really has not be been "bullied" according to him. He has had a few run ins with certain kids, but nothing major - yet. However, because of those incidences, calls from the school and information that was shared with me in confidence by other mothers regarding their kids -- I basically told my son, on that car ride to school, that when it comes to the bullies, "I want you to ignore them and mind your own business"? Say WHAT? .....slap-slap-slappity-slap-slap!

Ugh! Really? Did I really just say that?

I have always taught my kids to try and stay above the fray. But, now it seems more like resignation and defeat:

If they push you, just be the better person....
If they call you names, just try and ignore them.....
If you see kids doing something they shouldn't, stay out of it.....
If they...
If they...
If they...

Well, truth be told, part of me wishes I told him - If they bother you, I want you to...

STOP them!
PUSH back!
FIGHT back!

Yea! That's right!...shuffle-shuffle-punch-punch....take that and that and that! 

Let them know that you are not afraid and you will stand up for yourself.

My only hesitation with this plan is that when kids do fight back (and I've seen this happen), they end up being the ones reprimanded....they are either singled out in front of the whole class (which makes things worse),  called down to the Principal's office or in some cases suspended. For what?? For finally taking a stand, while the bullies don't even get a slap on the wrist.

So, what are we teaching our kids?

Is this fair or just? What should I be telling my kids? Should I be telling them to turn the other cheek? Shouldn't I be telling them to fight and stand up for themselves and others like them?

My son has only been occasionally picked on and it hasn't really bothered him too much. I think it bothers me more. We are lucky that he is confident in himself and that he embraces his geekiness, despite what the bullies might say or do. But, I can't help wondering if I need to rethink my advice.

It seems like such a hard line to walk....fight - don't fight.... what do you do?

What have you done to help your children cope with injustice in the school hallways?

How have they learned to deal with bullies and what suggestions might you have?

But, all is not lost. Recently, I heard that there was a study that came out showing that when bullies grow up, they end up working for the so called "geeks and nerds". So, in the grand scheme of things..... the bullies may rule the schools but the Geeks Rule the World.

**update **


It must have been fate, but as I was writing this post, I came across a very powerful and amazing poem/video by Shane Koyczan. This is a very moving and inspirational.