Caution: Cyber Space Ahead

Ching chong, ling long, ting tong......Oh no she dinn’t....please tell me that girl didn't just do that? Are you kidding me?! 

Now, before I get on my little soap-box, let me explain to you what has gotten the Asian-American community and other minority groups up in arms. 

Two weeks ago, a UCLA student, Alexander Wallace, decided to post a video of herself as she rants about the Asians in her school. Now, let me go on the record and say that I agree with Ms. Wallace’s original intent, which was probably – “Don’t talk on the phone in the library.” However, it was the manner in which this message was delivered that got people in an uproar (and now it’s in cyberspace, taking on a life of its own).

In a fairly short amount of time, Wallace was able to demonstrate the difficulties in mastering the Chinese language (hence, my intro), she validated the fact that all Asians are the same and that geography doesn’t matter (FYI – the tsunami occurred in Japan not China – two totally different countries…they don’t speak the same language...they don’t even like each other) and she has successfully shown the world that the United States is still struggling with issues of race.

Have you seen this video yet? Well, Wallace has actually removed her original post, but as we all know, once it’s out in the cyberspace, there is no getting it back. 

Now, after much contemplation and discussion with my lawyers, I have decided to keep my fingers at bay in regards to my opinions on what Ms. Wallace was thinking…nope, I’m not going to rant on and on about this ignorant girl, but as an American of Asian descent, let me just say…what the *bleep* was she thinking? 

Ok, ok….calm down…breathe….just breathe…ohm-mmmmmm …I’m going to my happy place now…

Forget it, yoga is not gonna to help. UGH! Isn’t it funny that even though I am now an adult and a mother of three, I can still be affected by something so idiotic?!  Am I being silly? Possibly.

Well, after this “polite, American girl” posted her little rant, her vlog went viral and people went ballistic. I’m sure she had no idea how offensive her remarks were or how significant the repercussions would be and how, by posting a short little video, her life would change.

A couple of days after the post, the Chancellor of UCLA made a public statement voicing his disappointment, Wallace soon issued an apology and has since left the school and returned home. 

I guess she’s learned her lesson. 

But what was her lesson? What can we all take away from this, whether we’re Asian, White, Black, Latino or Alien (a nod to Katy Perry's new song – which I can’t stop singing)?   

Well, there is a lot that we can learn from this whole situation and a lot that we can share with our children, but the one issue that I wanted my kids to learn, besides the fact that racism is a huge No-No, is that once you put something out on the internet, you can never get it back.

Here, in Franklin Lakes, we’ve got young kids who have smartphones, iPads, laptops up the wahzoo...they have continuous access to the internet, which means that they can post pictures, type entries, upload videos to their Facebook accounts (yes….kids have FB accounts) or any other social network site at anytime. 

This also means that we, as parents, need to constantly remind our sweet little angels (this term is used loosely) that they need to be careful and understand that there are consequences to things that they do.

As a parent, I do try to explain to my oldest, who’s currently in FAMS, that with all this amazing technology come responsibilities. She needs to know that everything she types in an email, words that she uses in a text, photos that she takes and videos that she makes with her friends need to be done thoughtfully, because in the end, she will be held accountable for her action if they have been used to cause pain to others or even to herself (believe me, if she can’t get a job in the future because she posted a picture of herself partying it up, I’m not gonna be a very happy mama….to say the least….)

What advice do you have on how to teach kids this very important lesson? How do we make them understand that they are accountable when it comes to things they post and put on the internet, and that sometimes the result of their actions can be devastating?  

Before you hit that send button, or click on the share link or post a comment….stop and think, because once it’s out there you can never get it back.

*But of course, if you’re reading this article, you better click on the share button right away and post a nice comment or I will call in the Triad to take care of business.

*This is an article I wrote for an online news site

Completely Wired

I have a dare for you, and should you decide to take the challenge, do so after you read this article. Deal? Good.

I dare you to unplug yourself for an entire 24 hours. You heard me. UNPLUG yourself. That means no computers, no i-touch, no Tablets or iPads, no smart phones or cell phones. Are you feeling uneasy? Nervous? Are ya shaking….making excuses in your head as to why you need to stay connected?

As I look around my house, I see desktop computers, laptops, game consoles, Nintendo DS game devices, ipods and cell phones allbeing used at the same time, not to mention the TV. This is the digital world. Technology has advanced so far that it's drastically improved our lives...or has it?

How many of you are like me....you get excited when you hear that little chime or buzz from your cell phone, telling you...hey, you've got a message. You eagerly pick it up, take a look...."wuu2"...you text back..."nmjc u?" (translation: What are you up to? Not much, just chillin' you?) ...and then you wait for the reply...waiting for something profound to be texted back...waiting for the next rush.

As I write this article, I have come to grips that I am a hypocrite. I'm constantly yelling at the kids to get off the computer, to stop playing with the DS, to turn off the TV and to hand over the iPhone...spewing sage advice, "You guys need to go do something productive, be creative, go play...go outside and have fun (ok, you get a pass on that due to the constant presence of snow blocking the door), but come on already. Get off the computer, I need to use it!" Hmmmmm...

What got me thinking about this subject was an incident that occurred just a few weeks back. Early Friday morning, my sister packed up her two kids and schlepped them all the way here so that the cousins could play. My niece (4) and nephew (2) were very excited about coming to play with their older cousins (ok, we assume, for this article, that my nephew was able to indicate his excitement). The point is that they came all the way from cow country Pennsylvania to visit. 

Once they finally arrived, there was a great show of affection, but within half an hour...silence. My sister and I turned around and saw that my son was back on the computer, watching someone play video games on YouTube (who would've thought that watching others play video games would be entertaining), my oldest daughter was watching Hulu on her iPhone while texting her friends and my youngest was glued to the TV (her reasoning...."I've only watched this 100 times"), leaving the two younger cousins with nothing to do but to climb on my sister.

I'm beginning to feel that all of this technology — the gaming, social networking, surfing, poking, pinging, texting, tweeting, blogging, digging, liking, friending or de-friending in some cases, is really not that great.

I don't think that our kids know how to just be themselves, enjoy life, unattached to the cyber world...what do you think?

Please don’t think that I’m anti-technology. It’s quite the opposite…I embrace technology...fine…I confess, I'm constantly plugged in…always online…I’m completely wired. Aren’t you? If you text me or email me, I usually respond in a nano second. At home, you can find me perched at the kitchen counter in front of my computer, listening to my playlist on Grooveshark while searching for something "important" online, cell phone within a few inches of my hand.

In fact, I think that my husband got jealous of my relationship with my computer, so he recently bought me an iPad . Foolish, foolish man....now I just go to bed with my iPad snuggled right next to me. What? At least now I'm in bed when the clock strikes twelve.

But in all seriousness, this 24/7 connectivity is not good for the developing brain. Researchers have found that all this constant distraction not only affects how our kids learn, but also how they absorb new information, so.....what is a good mother to do?

My plan: I'm gonna try and limit the time spent on the various devices and force the kids to interact with real human beings, like us (their parents), siblings or cousins who hail from PA.

Me? Well...I’m a lost cause. My brain is really not "developing" in that way anymore...and it's already a sieve (thanks to the three little humans that now reside with me), so I need my iPad, Google calendar and cell phone to remember things and get things done...I need to stay connected, plugged in...wired.

My advice to you: Do as I say, not as I do.

But before you unplug yourself, do me a favor….if you “Digg” this article, be sure to “Like” it on FB, and “Friend me” if you get the chance…you can also follow my Tweets for more upcoming blogs and I’ll make sure to “poke” you once in a while.

gtg cya l8r

ciao :) <3

* This is an article I wrote for an online news site