Wait! Let me cover my ears!!

Hear No Evil
Photo taken by Syd (my youngest)

I am by no means a prude. hee hee....I always thought that was a funny word and it's even funnier when you say it out loud...prude, prude, prude.... reminds me of prunes......hahahaha...ok, let me compose myself.

Now, as I was saying, I am by no means a prude (chuckle chuckle), defined as:

-a person who is excessively or priggishly attentive to propriety or decorum - Merriam-Webster (Priggishly? Really? Am I the only one who grinds their teeth when a simple definition search turns into a treasure hunt?)

-a person who is or claims to be easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity - Google

I'm perfectly okay with songs that might use explicit words or videos that might be somewhat risqué, but why is it that recently, I find my ears shouting UGH!!!! Stop it!.......Turn it off!

Perhaps, I'm getting too sensitive or maybe I'm just getting old or could it be that some people are given just a little too much leeway?

I recently attended a fundraiser for our schools, one that I have gone to for many, many moons and I have always enjoyed myself. But, this year, I left feeling slightly appalled. It wasn't the event that got my knickers in a bunch, but rather the DJ.

Here we are on the dance floor....parents, teachers and school administrators boppin' and dancing (if you can call it that) and having fun. Then the DJ, who mistakenly thought he was the next Ryan Seacrest, starts to do his thing. At first it was typical DJ blather, but as the night progressed, so did his comments.

He went from "men....put your tie around your ladies neck" to "ladies, I want to see you butts making circles" to "men grab your stuff"......Ewww.....Yuck!!!!!..... I really don't need that image in my head... I even recall him using the "B" word.....HELLO? This is a school event! Am I right in being somewhat disgusted with that? Or, maybe I'm just getting old.

So, that was Friday. Fast forward to Wednesday morning...

Now, when it comes to radio stations, I am a station hopper....why? Because I love music. I prefer not to listen to radio personalities who talk just for the sake of talking and who like to sensationalize current events. I do, however, enjoy talk radio that is truly informative, such as WNYC, but I only subject my kids to that on occasion.

Moving on.....

This morning, as I was driving my fourteen year old daughter to school, we had the pop/hit radio station on. We were singing and humming along from one song to another, then the music stopped and the commentators started their usual morning banter.

Normally, I would start flipping channels, but today I was too tired. I was half listening, trying to concentrate on the traffic, until I heard them discussing that  Rhianna had posed topless and how they wouldn't mind seeing it or posing topless themselves....OMG!.....fumble, fumble....ugh....I almost swerved off the road trying to change the channel before my daughter fully understood what they were talking about. Seriously? Do they need to say things like that on a radio station? Am I the only one who finds this stuff annoying and ridiculous?

Maybe I am too sensitive, maybe I am getting old......maybe, I am becoming a priggish, prudish old nilly.

Needless to say, from now on, we will be listening to my iPod in the car.....or to WNYC.

What are your thoughts? Has this happened to you?

Wait...... before you answer, let me cover my ears.

Grounded in Franklin Lakes

Sitting here in the Franklin Lakes Starbucks, typing on my iPad and watching the people come in and out....men, women, teens, kids and babies, a question popped into my mind, as I watch a young teen ask for some complicated concoction from the ever friendly staff. How in the world do you stay grounded in a town such as this? Better yet, how do we ensure that our children stay grounded? 

It's wonderful to be living here....it's beautiful and quiet...we've got a good school system with great teachers...I've made some amazing friends...I found a hairstylist that knows exactly what I want (we all know how difficult that is....thanks Vic for your cutting edge style....ahem....check out The Chateau Salon)...and it's been interesting to see how many times I have to tell my kids...I don't care if so and so has such and such, we are not getting it! 

Does this conversation come up in your household? Am I the only one who feels that kids these days are way too spoiled?

You see, if you are new to town or to any of the surrounding towns in Bergen County, let me give you a brief overview of life with kids in an affluent town. You will notice that I have only covered a few topics, but it will give you a good idea of what I'm talking about (this of course is only the opinion of a lowly Franklin Lakes Housewife).

•  Computers: With all the advancements in technology, our kids now have the luxury of accessing the world wide web (do you think kids even know what www stands for?.....ha ha ha) from an itty bitty sherbet colored, blinged out smartphone (can you tell I have girls?) but, it doesn't stop there. Nooooo.....one day as you're looking around your house, feeling good that you are able to provide your family with two PC laptops and now an Apple computer (not to mention the cell phone that you just bestowed upon you oldest daughter), your ever loving child will ask you for her own Apple laptop....are you serious? Why? Oh.....because your friends all have their own and you don't want to deal with other peoples accounts on the main computer.....I see, well then...FORGET IT!  We're family, deal with it. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to even have a computer? When I was your age, we didn't have cellphones, personal computers, DSs...the most exciting thing I remember as a kid was the electric typewriter...spoiled kids (grumble grumble)... 

•  Houses: After years of hard work, you and your spouse have finally purchased a house in beautiful Franklin Lakes. It’s everything you dreamed of...there's plenty of room for the kids to roam, they each have a separate bedroom, you have a kitchen that allows more than one person in at a time and you actually have a yard....then, your child goes on their first playdate and comes home, takes a good look around and says...so and so house is sooooo big and beautiful...how come our house isn't like that? What?! Who says its not?!  Pop-pitty-pop...pop...pop... Your little happy bubble just collapsed and you look around at the broken steps, fallen gutters, dug up lawn (courtesy of the four legged pet you agreed to in a moment of weakness) and you decide to take this Hallmark moment and make it into a learning experience. Do you realize that we are very lucky to be living here? Daddy works very hard so that we can live in this house...plus, how can mommy make the house look nice when you guys never pick up after yourselves, you eat in every room...leaving crumbs everywhere, Kiki (the furry destroyer of all things) tracks mud and dirt into the house and you guys constantly bounce from bed to sofa as if on a trampoline...there is NO way I'm getting nice furniture until you are all off to college...and that includes the dog!!! Ridiculous!

•  Clothing, shoes, etc:  Now, I must say that so far I've been pretty lucky when it comes to my kids wanting certain things....that is...so far, they are pretty much content with driving me insane with all the electronic stuff (ugh). However, I'm sure that designer jeans, brand name tops, juicy this and couture that are all in our near future. How can we avoid it...honestly? You know you’re in trouble when a kindergartener is told her family must be poor because she always wears the same shoes to school, or when your teenage daughter has accumulated a thousand and one outfits in one year because she can't possibly wear the same dress twice...are you kidding me?Have you encountered anything as bizarre as this?

You see, although I love living here, I must say that it comes at a price. 

Among the mini mansions, luxury cars, state of the art digital apparatus and couture clothing, how do our kids stand a chance?  How skewed will our children’s view on life be? And how do we keep them from becoming self-important little monsters who feel as if they are entitled to anything and everything?

I want to be a good mother, but how can I steer my kids straight when my own compass wavers on occasion....and doesn’t always point due North? (I really did need those shoes....I’ve been looking for that perfect shade of red...and, now all I need is a dress to go with it....What? I’ve put in my time...a girl’s gotta have something...)

But all kidding aside, it’s very important to me that my kids know that they can’t have everything their little hearts desire. Just because a friend has something doesn't mean that they have to have it too. So, for now, if they ask me for something that I feel is not a real necessity, I resort to a firm “No”, or an occasional “maybe” and in a desperate attempt to end all conversation, a teeth baring, guttural, crazed eye “NO! And if you ask me one more time, you're in big trouble....and I mean it!!!” 

Do you have the same concerns? How do you keep your kids grounded in Franklin Lakes?

Well, that’s it for today, I just finished my venti-decaf-light-mocha-frappucino-no whip and....oh my god, is that the NEW iPad....it’s so thin...and that cover is sooo cool....huh (as I glance down at my own “older” iPad, it suddenly feels so heavy)...man, this thing feels like a brick...I think a lighter version would be a lot better...hmmm...

* This is an article I wrote for an online news site

Completely Wired

I have a dare for you, and should you decide to take the challenge, do so after you read this article. Deal? Good.

I dare you to unplug yourself for an entire 24 hours. You heard me. UNPLUG yourself. That means no computers, no i-touch, no Tablets or iPads, no smart phones or cell phones. Are you feeling uneasy? Nervous? Are ya shaking….making excuses in your head as to why you need to stay connected?

As I look around my house, I see desktop computers, laptops, game consoles, Nintendo DS game devices, ipods and cell phones allbeing used at the same time, not to mention the TV. This is the digital world. Technology has advanced so far that it's drastically improved our lives...or has it?

How many of you are like me....you get excited when you hear that little chime or buzz from your cell phone, telling you...hey, you've got a message. You eagerly pick it up, take a look...."wuu2"...you text back..."nmjc u?" (translation: What are you up to? Not much, just chillin' you?) ...and then you wait for the reply...waiting for something profound to be texted back...waiting for the next rush.

As I write this article, I have come to grips that I am a hypocrite. I'm constantly yelling at the kids to get off the computer, to stop playing with the DS, to turn off the TV and to hand over the iPhone...spewing sage advice, "You guys need to go do something productive, be creative, go play...go outside and have fun (ok, you get a pass on that due to the constant presence of snow blocking the door), but come on already. Get off the computer, I need to use it!" Hmmmmm...

What got me thinking about this subject was an incident that occurred just a few weeks back. Early Friday morning, my sister packed up her two kids and schlepped them all the way here so that the cousins could play. My niece (4) and nephew (2) were very excited about coming to play with their older cousins (ok, we assume, for this article, that my nephew was able to indicate his excitement). The point is that they came all the way from cow country Pennsylvania to visit. 

Once they finally arrived, there was a great show of affection, but within half an hour...silence. My sister and I turned around and saw that my son was back on the computer, watching someone play video games on YouTube (who would've thought that watching others play video games would be entertaining), my oldest daughter was watching Hulu on her iPhone while texting her friends and my youngest was glued to the TV (her reasoning...."I've only watched this 100 times"), leaving the two younger cousins with nothing to do but to climb on my sister.

I'm beginning to feel that all of this technology — the gaming, social networking, surfing, poking, pinging, texting, tweeting, blogging, digging, liking, friending or de-friending in some cases, is really not that great.

I don't think that our kids know how to just be themselves, enjoy life, unattached to the cyber world...what do you think?

Please don’t think that I’m anti-technology. It’s quite the opposite…I embrace technology...fine…I confess, I'm constantly plugged in…always online…I’m completely wired. Aren’t you? If you text me or email me, I usually respond in a nano second. At home, you can find me perched at the kitchen counter in front of my computer, listening to my playlist on Grooveshark while searching for something "important" online, cell phone within a few inches of my hand.

In fact, I think that my husband got jealous of my relationship with my computer, so he recently bought me an iPad . Foolish, foolish man....now I just go to bed with my iPad snuggled right next to me. What? At least now I'm in bed when the clock strikes twelve.

But in all seriousness, this 24/7 connectivity is not good for the developing brain. Researchers have found that all this constant distraction not only affects how our kids learn, but also how they absorb new information, so.....what is a good mother to do?

My plan: I'm gonna try and limit the time spent on the various devices and force the kids to interact with real human beings, like us (their parents), siblings or cousins who hail from PA.

Me? Well...I’m a lost cause. My brain is really not "developing" in that way anymore...and it's already a sieve (thanks to the three little humans that now reside with me), so I need my iPad, Google calendar and cell phone to remember things and get things done...I need to stay connected, plugged in...wired.

My advice to you: Do as I say, not as I do.

But before you unplug yourself, do me a favor….if you “Digg” this article, be sure to “Like” it on FB, and “Friend me” if you get the chance…you can also follow my Tweets for more upcoming blogs and I’ll make sure to “poke” you once in a while.

gtg cya l8r

ciao :) <3

* This is an article I wrote for an online news site