To speak or not to speak......

At this time of year, hopefully, we take the time to appreciate all the little things in our lives. Three of those things for me are my children and even though I complain here and there, I am thankful.

I am thankful for the life that I have been given and for all that has been provided for me. I am thankful for my loving friends and family and I am thankful that so far..... my kids have kept the straight and narrow (or so I believe).

Like many of you, I have waited in anticipation for this period in my life, where I would have the "dreaded" teenager, but so far I've been spared the heartache and frustration that seems to plaque these teenage years.

As parents we all try very hard to make sure we raise our children the right way. We give them opportunities we never had. We buy them things we never dreamed of. We encourage them with love and support, helping them when they fall and praising them when they succeed.

But let me ask you this....how well do we really know them? These mini-mes.... these carbon copies of us?

I have always prided myself in thinking that I "know" my daughter and that she would never do anything wrong. I also thought that all my friends enjoyed this same type of security  -- of "knowing" what our kids were up to. However, recent events have shattered this apparent false sense of security and now I find myself in strange waters.

So let me pose a question to you....

If you found out (from your daughter) that a friend's child has not followed the path of the straight and narrow and has engaged in inappropriate behaviors, would you tell her?

Would you say something, knowing that the child has already been deemed by her peers as wanton and licentious?

Would you say something, knowing that by doing so, you are also breaking the trust and confidence that your daughter has placed in you?

Or......

Would you hold your tongue?

I have asked this question to some of my friends and I find people falling into two categories.

One group feels that since the events occurred in the past, I should leave it alone and hope that the child is now in a better place. They feel that by divulging the "secret" at this point in time, there is no upside. I could potentially incur the wrath of my friend (because she may not believe me), cause a rift between my friend and her child, destroy my daughter's friendship and in the end I could also lose the trust and confidence my own daughter has placed in me and cause us to drift apart.

The other group feels that I should say something no matter the cost, while trying to minimize the potential backlash towards my daughter and hope that all will work out.

What are your thoughts?

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? If so, what did you do?

How would you feel if this were your child?

Winter Wonderland Vacation

This winter our school calendar has been plagued with snow day after snow day.....I can't recall when we have had a full week of school.

Now, for those of you who don't know me, I don't like the cold weather....in fact, I HATE it. The only reason I like to live in the northeast is because I do enjoy the change of seasons.....which makes me appreciate the warmer weather - Ha!

Anyhow, this year we decided to spend our winter break with my husbands family....and where, you might ask, did we go????

Well, why not the snowy mountain tops of West Virginia at a ski resort called Snowshoe Mountain.

What?! No way am I going somewhere cold...

....... fine, so that my children can play with their beloved cousins, I will take one for the team....*sniff sniff.

We were all pretty much set to go on Thursday Februrary 13th when the emails and text messgages starting buzzing.....WINTER STORM WARNING - the worst we have seen this yea, starting on none other than Wednesday, February 12th.

Perfect.

Just perfect.

I immediately called up my dearest hubby, who was in NC on a business trip, and told him to forget his flight home and rent a car and meet me in West VA.

I dropped off the dog, pulled my kids out of school, packed up the car and started out for what turned into an eleven hour road trip to West Virginia....and yes, we were driving into the oncoming storm system.

hmmmmm....maybe that wasn't too smart ~ but if we stayed we would have never gotten out.

Now, I'm not afraid to drive long distance and I'm not bad driving in the snow....BUT after driving for nine hours straight with three kids in the car along a winding mountain road, flanked with bottomless cliffs, one starts to get a bit jittery.....then when you add the lack of cell service, 8 degree inclines and heavy snow fall paired with darkness.....you get the comment "wow, you look like you've aged five years.".....SMACK!

Well, the good thing is that we made it in one piece - maybe not mentally, but physically. Three families drove in on the night the snow began while the other two groups drove in later.....one taking 2 hours to drive 30 miles from Winston-Salem and the other getting stuck in the snow due to the lack of 4-wheel drives at the rental place.

Needless to say, the children had a blast with their cousins. The slopes were fantastic and my children who have never skied before really enjoyed themselves. We stayed at a Ski-In Ski-Out unit with a hot tub that apparently can fit a whole lotta cousins.

I, for one, will never ever drive up the mountain during a snowstorm again.....my vote for the next reunion ..... let's go to the beach!

What did you do this winter?

One of the dads remembered that it was Valentine's Day.
He brought flowers for all the Moms.....So Sweet!

Did you do anything for Valentine's Day?

I'm Still Breathing!!!!

Yes, believe it or not, I'm still alive and kicking.

This has been one crazy year and I must really try to make an effort to continue my blog....why? Because I love writing.

So what in the world could have kept me from blogging? Well......hmmmm....what a loaded question.

First off, I was an idiot and agreed to be the PTA president of my daughters elementary school....yes, they saw the "Sucker" sign on my forehead and said "Ask her!!!" So, now my house is in shambles, laundry piled up to the sky and kids are barely eating what I would deam a "healthy" meal. I have emails from parents regarding anything and everything, fundraiser baskets and decorations spewed throughout my house and a monstrous size bottle of Pepcid next to my bed ....and, if that wasn't enough, I agreed to help head the Ad journal/playbill for my daughter's highschool, I'm on the Picnic committee that welcomes over 300+ children to our school, I will be helping a local Investment company with idea generation, I was asked to help play/sing in a cover band and I finally decided to take the plunge and start my journey to a new career as a web developer, while maintaining my pharmacy degree!

Phew!

Yes.....stupid is as stupid does....or as my husband said the other day....Mid-Life Crisis!

Is there anyone out there who is in the same boat? What have you been up to?

Chillin in Cape May

So it's the middle of August and I'm just starting to relax. What have I been doing this whole time? Well, for some reason....during a brief moment of insanity, I agreed to be the President of PTA for my youngest daughters elementary school. 

Yup.... Sucker.

Honestly, I do enjoy it to some degree. I love working on the computer - making newsletters, finding new fonts, playing with photo images..... I actually just finished creating a brand new website for the PTA and I must say --- not too shabby.

Anyhow, here I am finally relaxing by the shore and I thought I would take this time to send out a post.

It's about 3pm right now and we've had a full day already....kite flying, shopping, arcade house, scooting, reading, eating and napping.

This is actually our fourth year vacationing in Cape May New Jersey ...and we love it. We've been coming here with my sister and her family (love my niece & nephew) and my mom & dad - its truly my favorite time of the year.

Here's my kid sister as we take a little respite at an organic coffee/ice cream shop called Bliss (cute little shop on one of the back streets of Cape May).

Where is your favorite place to vacation?

Three for Me

It's been awhile since I've posted a Three for Me piece, so here it goes.....

1. Sydney's Birthday - This was, of course the top of the list for my three favorite things this week. My little girl is now nine! It's her "last year in the single digits" as she put it. We spent her birthday at my parent's house in central Jersey and had a very delicious and fattening cake. Unfortunately, as a summer baby, she doesn't get that many parties, but I think this year we will try and do something special once school starts and all her friends are home. Happy Birthday Sweetie! We love you.

Happy Birthday to you....Happy Birthday to you....

2. My sister Jen - Now, my sis and I are about five years apart and we are very close. For awhile, she lived in the same town as me, but due to my brother-in-laws job, they relocated to Pennsylvania. I really miss having her near by...... Jen has always been there for me, no matter what. We laugh, goof off and try to hang out as much as possible. She and I may disagree, argue and get mad at each other (what siblings don't?), but I know that no matter what I do or say......she loves me and will always be there to support me and I feel the same towards her. By the way, Jen recently celebrated another birthday so....here's another shout-out to her: Happy Birthday Jen!!!!!

Took this at a Musikfest concert in between sets...we had a blast!

3. Aw-Shucks Roasted Corn - yes, I'm serious. This corn is on my favorite things this week. Why? Why?!!! The only thing I can say is join me at Musikfest next year and I will show you why. Hands down.....this is the best corn ever!!! I'm still dreaming about this.....yummmmmm

I took this right before I devoured it - Can I have one more please?

What are your three favorite things this week?

Three for Me

Yes, I'm still here.....I haven't totally fallen off the planet...I've just been in Orlando with the family on a much needed vacation. Although I haven't been able to post "posts", I have been able to keep up with the A to Z challenge and the NaPoWriMo Challenge, although it's been a bit difficult......try composing poems in the midst of roller coaster screams, slurping of Butter Beer and being totally and completely drenched on the River Adventure ride....hmpff...they said "you may get wet or possibly soaked"....possibly?!

Anyhow, we are nearing the end of our trip and I have a few things I wanted to get out before I end this week.

So, the Three for Me this week are:

1. High School "acceptance" letter? - My oldest daughter has worked very hard over the years and as she entered 8th grade, she applied to the County magnet school. This school is considered to be a top notch high school and many kids apply....in fact, out of the 1550 applicants, only 280 will be granted entry. Of course, as luck would have it, and after a grueling application process, they decided to mail the "acceptance" letters out this week. Hello.....we are on Spring break. UGH! Luckily, my wonderful friend checked the mail for me on a daily basis and when it finally arrived, she expressed mailed it to us in Florida.

What did it say? Well, my daughter didn't want to open it until we were all together as a family, which meant we had the letter in hand for over half an hour before opening it. We trekked back into Universal Studio, located the rest of the clan and......

And she cried tears of joy....

YES! She got in. We are so happy for her and so very proud. Job well done geeky nerd....way to go!

2. Lost & Found - Ok, so you might be thinking what could possibly top an acceptance letter to an amazing high school, well.....if you read my poem from the other day, you will know that I experienced what all parents fear....losing their child in the crowd. So, the second thing I'm loving this week is finding Squid and having all three of my children. I came with three....thank God I'm leaving with three....I love you guys and next time, we are all wearing matching neon tops!

3. Harry Potter Land - I'm loving the fact that we are on vacation someplace warm and to top it off, we got to visit Harry Potter Land (twice). I love Harry Potter.....we got dizzy on the rides, purchased our wands from Ollivander's Wand Shop, bought a whole bunch of stuff in Hogsmeade and we had our fill of delicious Butter Beer. Here's to you Harry.

What Hogwarts house are you?

What are you loving this week?

Co-Hosting a Blog Hop with The Wondering Brain!

A Dose of Jules
The Wondering Brain
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Oh My Darlin Baby

Here are the rules: 

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What a Wonderful Day.....

Easter Sunday was perfect....well, almost perfect. Unfortunately, my hubby wasn't able to be home with us, but we still got to spend the day with family.

My sister came up with her family from Pennsylvania while other cousins of ours drove over from Connecticut.

The day started pretty early.....and although I was still groggy, I somehow managed to get a pretty nice shot of the tulips that I bought.

Now, some of you may know that I was totally not prepared for this day....I usually have my menu planned out weeks in advance, but because I have been so tied up with my blog (I absolutely love blogging!!) I forgot to plan my menu until late Saturday night.

Lucky for me, my sister and I discussed some possibilities and hello.....here is a sampling of what we had for Easter Brunch.

Let me just say that we stuffed ourselves....we were completely and utterly stuffed! Not only did we have quiche, asparagus, ham, chicken salad finger sandwiches (my daughter's request) to name a few items, but we also had Caroline's very tasty potato salad with mustard dressing and Jen's yum-o-licious coconut pie.

I literally couldn't move.....or breathe....ugh....need to loosen the buttons!

After awhile, we gathered the kids up for the Easter egg hunt before they revolted.

Ready.
Set.
Go!

Oh!

.....watch out for Kikster-Boy.....he will take your eggs if you're not careful....

All in all, I think it was a pretty awesome day.

We ate. Hung out with family and....

Oh! Guess who's home!

Ok, I've got to go.....my hubby and I have a date tonight to watch the much anticipated Game of Thrones!

But before I run off, let me just say that I am very grateful and thankful for all the people in my life and I hope that you all had a wonderful and blessed day.

And for those who celebrate.....Happy Easter.

Happy to join Marvelous In My Monday today

Three for Me

It snowed again last night, kids had a 90 minute delay and I want Spring to come! Here are three things that I love....and snow isn't one of them!

1. My Mom. I love my mom. She's been the pillar in my life for which I have leaned upon time and time again. She gives without hesitation, expecting nothing in return and loves me unconditionally....even when I have disappointed her and broken her heart. Being the oldest of eight, my mom has taken care of her family since she was very young. She started working full time at the age of sixteen, got her degree in accounting, landed her first job in America with only a smile (she didn't say a word at the interview because she couldn't really speak English), raised two daughters and is now a grandma to five very lucky grandkids. Today is her birthday and I just wanted to say.....thanks mom for always being there for me and for loving me, even when I didn't deserve it. I love you with all my heart. Happy Birthday!

2. Kilts & Bagpipes. Yes, you read that right.....for some very odd reason, and for as long as I can remember, I've always fancied men in kilts who can play a mean bagpipe. One of my favorite bagpipe memories occurred years ago when our good friend played the bagpipe at his wedding in Edinburgh. He wore his family tartan, proudly representing his clan and played a beautiful melody for his new wife. So romantic......hmmmmm.... do you think my husband would be willing to put on a kilt and take bagpipe lessons...yea, I didn't think so. Well, lucky for me St Patrick's day has given me a little fix to hold me over until the next parade....so, whether you're a Irishman or a Scotsman.... here's to all the men in kilts who play the pipes. Cheers! Here's a picture of our friends as they were leaving the church....it was such magical day... (I had a picture of the groom playing the bagpipes, but I didn't want to post it without his permission, so I decided to go with my favorite picture from that day)

G + C = beautiful couple

3. Brigadoon. I can't talk about MIK (Men in Kilts) and bagpipes without thinking of this movie. Brigadoon is one of my favorite movies from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Its a love story between a man who happens upon a Scottish village, that only appears for only one day every one hundred years, and a woman named Fiona, who is bound by the curse of her village. It's a musical starring none other than the great Gene Kelly and beautiful Cyd Charisse....it's old Hollywood and I love it. If you are a lover of old Hollywood musicals and you enjoy wonderfully choreographed dance routines, this is a must.

Lyrics to Love

Good morning....good afternoon....good evening....whatever time it is you are reading this, I thank you.

Did you read the post Time Out for Family Time from yesterday? Did you answer the question at the bottom?

Well....if you did, let's see if you got it right. These lyrics make you really think about family time and how quickly it slips through our fingers.

Courtesy of Doriana S

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then 

Cats In The Cradle, Sung by Harry Chapin

Love this song!

The lyrics to this song originally started out as a poem written by Sandra Gaston (Harry's wife). The inspiration for her poem came from her first husbands relationship with his father and a song she had heard once on the radio. Harry Chapin also said that this song reflects the relationship that he had with his own son....and "it scared him to death."

When I listen to this song, it scares me.....I get goose bumps and vow that I won't be like that. I swear to myself....I will change and spend as much time as I can with my kids.....but it's hard.

Time Out for Family Time

The sands of time waits for no one.

I will be the first to admit it......I do not spend enough quality time with my children.....and time is running out.

Our family has always been and still is Overbooked and whatever time we do have together often falls short of what I would deem quality time.

Our days..... consists of me driving the kids all around the county, practically live in the car  (easily putting about 20,000 + miles on my car in less than a year). When we're home, it's a total frenzy....cooking, phone calls, homework, cleaning, lessons.....and then next thing you know its bedtime, which is another battle that I wish I didn't have to deal with (check out Bedtime Battles).

And, it seems to me that all I ever say to my kids are.....hold on a minute....I'll help you later.....let me finish this....I'm on the phone....wait, I'm doing something....or (and I'm just telling you this because I want to be honest here) leave me alone.....I can't think with all of you bothering me!!!

So, where is the quality time we see families sharing on TV? Okay....maybe not so much on current TV, but more so on older shows like..... Little House on the Prairie? yes....I'm that old.

That's what I want!

My husband works insane hours at several different places and a lot of his shifts are overnights, which makes family time that much harder to coordinate.....rarely, do the stars align and we are all home together at a normal time.

So, lately, out of desperation for quality family time, I've actually kept the kids home from their scheduled activities so that we can spend time as a family unit.....not really husband approved, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!

Just the other day, my husband and I really made an attempt to hang out with the kids, on a school night to say the least. We played a modified version of Pictionary, or we would have been there forever....but it was still tons fun and we got to laugh and joke around with the kids....and really enjoy each others company.

Can you guess what these were suppose to be? answers at bottom of post

You know....we've all said it before...."the kids are growing up so fast"...."in a blink of an eye they will be gone".....all this is so true and I don't want to miss anymore than I have.

As parents, we are so busy with trying to stay afloat, doing this and that for the kids, that we lose sight of the fact that we really should be doing things with them. There's going to be a day when we are finally able to slow down and spend time with them, but they may be too busy for us.

Does this happen in your home? How do you carve out true family time? Please share your secret to true quality family time......

answers: Bite, Doctor, Cheerleader, Healthy

Can you guess what song lyric I will be posting on Lyrics to Love tomorrow?

Don't Pass on Family Time

Originally,  I was going to post a segment on my ever so adorable and well behaved (cough..cough) kids. Well, at least that was the plan as of yesterday morning, but as the day went on and I realized that soon I would be getting into a car and driving into the neighboring state for a short getaway with the family, I had a feeling that I would need to vent....just a little...a teensy weensy, itty bitty vent session.

Now, before I go on, let me say this loud and clear.... I love my husband and I appreciate all the sacrifices that he has made to provide for our family. (The poor guy works all the time and I am damn lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life. I love you, hon.) But, why...shake, shake, shake of the head... when planning a "family" vacation break.... do I now find myself sitting in a casino in the Poconos?

Yes, we took our kids to a gambling establishment.

Is it too early to register my kids for Gamblers Anonymous? Seriously.

All 3 kids had to wear bands so people knew they were under 21
Is it really that hard to figure out?

I know, we are not the easiest to please - with two young teenagers constantly bickering with each other, an energetic eight year old (who always forgets to use her indoor voice) and a wife who secretly (okay, maybe not so secretly) wishes she could just run away - how would one find the perfect solution to a short getaway?

My poor husband took on this very task of trying to get us all excited about the break. Unfortunately for him, we were not cooperating. He asked each of us what we wanted to do and we all responded with the same generic, "I don't care." Which, by the way, really means...

"I don't want to do anything, I'm perfectly happy staying at home, in my pjs, insert your favorite pastime."

Answers:

Oldest kid - vegging out in front of the TV and sleeping
Middle kid - sitting in front of the computer and watching Youtube
Youngest kid - sitting next to my brother, in front of the computer, watching Youtube
me - sleeping...just let me sleep!

With our complete apathy for this "coveted" break, we left my poor husband, who's in dire need of a vacation, feeling...well, needless to say, and rightly so.....a bit annoyed.

So annoyed, he decided to take a Groupon deal to a nearby resort and casino and voila! Here we are.

.....hmmmm.....thinking...thinking...thinking.

Okay. It's really not that bad. In all honesty, it wasn't a totally ill conceived plan. We are staying in a nice hotel with spacious rooms and the food has been good (I totally pigged out - chocolate milkshake, california burger and fries) and apparently there's skiing and snow tubing nearby.

It's really not where we are, but rather who we are with (ugh, that sounds so cliché - but it's true).

So, kudos to my dear husband, who was only trying to get us to do something together.

This only makes up for the fact that we are not somewhere warm.....YUMMY!
The best chocolate shake I've had in years.

Family time is family time!

Next time, when you find yourself somewhere that just isn't your cup of tea, remember this:

It doesn't matter if you are sitting at home in your comfy pjs or out in a smoke filled casino, with the lights flashing and the constant ringing of the slot machines...this is valuable time you have together as a family. Embrace it.

....now, if you will please excuse me, I need to show the kids how to play the pass line.

Overbooked! No Time To Breathe

Now, I know that I shouldn’t complain. Here I am…. a wife to a wonderful husband who works his tail off so that I can have the option to stay home, while trying to figure out what it is I want to do when I grow up….mother to three fairly well behaved children, except for when they drive me absolutely batty….and part owner of a goofy “non-shedding -midsized” dog or should I say horse (isn’t there a law against false advertisement… I should get my money back so that I can replace the vacuum that broke due to all the “non-existent” fur)….so what am I complaining about? Well, that’s easy…I’m too busy.

I see you rolling your eyes….poor little Franklin Lakes housewife….she’s too busy…getting a mani and pedi, hanging out at the salon, playing tennis at the club, meeting for lunch while “discussing”  PTA and school stuff, drinking lattes and eating scones….PLEASE, get real!

The thing is, until you step into my shoes (or stilettos…I do so love my stilettos) you have no idea how crazy my life is. I’m not claiming that I’m the only mom in Franklin Lakes who is insanely crazed and busy…on the contrary, I actually think that most moms in town are in the same situation.

 I admit that I get the occasional mani and pedi, and the hour at the salon is “me” time, I play tennis when I can so that I get some exercise and I do have PTA meetings, but never over lunch and I don’t drink lattes – they make my tummy hurt. But, this not what I’m talking about… the problem is that we as a family are way overbooked, over scheduled and over committed!

Ya get it?! Do you agree?

The root of the problem is that I’ve always wanted to give my kids the opportunity to do things that I never got to do. I want them to pursue things that interest them, take classes in things that inspire them and learn things that my husband and I deem important to their future. So, I asked the kids what they wanted to do….enrolled them in a billion classes in places as local as the Karate place on Franklin Avenue all the way to Timbuktu and thus started living our lives out of our car.

Life started to get hectic fairly quickly ,especially since I’m the primary chauffeur (I’m sometimes in the car, non-stop, for 5-6 hours, driving around and around and around…sometimes not getting home until 9:45pm.) We are doing so many things and going in so many different directions, that I had to simplify my life…yes, I gave up the paper calendar and converted to Google Calendar and boy was that the right move. Now, everything is color coordinated with little bells to remind me of classes, activities, appointments, lunch dates, shopping trips (just kidding…..not really) and I can even keep track of the Philadelphia Eagles game times when football season starts …how cool!

Our family motto: If it’s not on the calendar, then it’s not happening!

Now don’t think that you can look at this calendar and know everything that happens in our lives, because I still keep certain things in my head, and even though there is some sort of method to the kaleidoscope of colors on my calendar, trying to decipher it may give you a headache.

Everything in our lives has been orchestrated to the last second….we are so jammed packed that there’s barely any room for the slightest delay, let alone breathing….there is no time for rain, sleet or snow, grannies on the road, tractors (I’m stuck behind these everyday on Colonial Road….sucks!) or bathroom breaks….didn’t you just go 10 hours ago?! Geez!

The funny things is, that although we now have the schedule flowing perfectly…and believe me, it was a feat trying to schedule 24 lessons/classes between the three kids in a weeks time (and we do this week after week, month after month), all I want to do now is come to a full stop.  

I’m constantly stressed and now, my kids, for whom this was all done for, are stressed and tired. Can you relate? Do your kids ever feel this way?

The problem I’m having is that as I look at the well crafted master calendar (hold on as I gag….just giving myself some props….clap clap), there is really nothing that I can take out, except for one or two things here and there. The bulk of the schedule seems necessary. So, what am I to do? Any suggestions? Therapy?

We can’t cut out language, because we want our kids to at least be able to understand our families when they come to visit….we can’t cut out music, because we feel they should all be able to play at least one instrument (poor playing is better than no playing – right?)….and we can’t touch the tennis, ballet or karate because physical activity is important, especially in this day and age of video games and Youtube. So, you see my dilemma?

I wish I was as brave and bold as my friend K.J. who told me once that she cancelled all classes and activities for an entire month…..wow, could you imagine? The kids would go to school in the morning, come home in the afternoon and that’s it! You’re in for the night!! True family time…..just like the good old days.

I don’t think it is all that healthy for the kids to be so over scheduled, but now that I’m here, how do I change it?

How crazy is your schedule? How have you pared down your family’s activities and commitments? Does anyone have a copy of the documentary “Race to Nowhere”? And most importantly, what’s the name of your psychologist? I need to make an appointment…..although my first availability is about 6 months out….HELP!

* This is an article I wrote for an online news site

Grounded in Franklin Lakes

Sitting here in the Franklin Lakes Starbucks, typing on my iPad and watching the people come in and out....men, women, teens, kids and babies, a question popped into my mind, as I watch a young teen ask for some complicated concoction from the ever friendly staff. How in the world do you stay grounded in a town such as this? Better yet, how do we ensure that our children stay grounded? 

It's wonderful to be living here....it's beautiful and quiet...we've got a good school system with great teachers...I've made some amazing friends...I found a hairstylist that knows exactly what I want (we all know how difficult that is....thanks Vic for your cutting edge style....ahem....check out The Chateau Salon)...and it's been interesting to see how many times I have to tell my kids...I don't care if so and so has such and such, we are not getting it! 

Does this conversation come up in your household? Am I the only one who feels that kids these days are way too spoiled?

You see, if you are new to town or to any of the surrounding towns in Bergen County, let me give you a brief overview of life with kids in an affluent town. You will notice that I have only covered a few topics, but it will give you a good idea of what I'm talking about (this of course is only the opinion of a lowly Franklin Lakes Housewife).

•  Computers: With all the advancements in technology, our kids now have the luxury of accessing the world wide web (do you think kids even know what www stands for?.....ha ha ha) from an itty bitty sherbet colored, blinged out smartphone (can you tell I have girls?) but, it doesn't stop there. Nooooo.....one day as you're looking around your house, feeling good that you are able to provide your family with two PC laptops and now an Apple computer (not to mention the cell phone that you just bestowed upon you oldest daughter), your ever loving child will ask you for her own Apple laptop....are you serious? Why? Oh.....because your friends all have their own and you don't want to deal with other peoples accounts on the main computer.....I see, well then...FORGET IT!  We're family, deal with it. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to even have a computer? When I was your age, we didn't have cellphones, personal computers, DSs...the most exciting thing I remember as a kid was the electric typewriter...spoiled kids (grumble grumble)... 

•  Houses: After years of hard work, you and your spouse have finally purchased a house in beautiful Franklin Lakes. It’s everything you dreamed of...there's plenty of room for the kids to roam, they each have a separate bedroom, you have a kitchen that allows more than one person in at a time and you actually have a yard....then, your child goes on their first playdate and comes home, takes a good look around and says...so and so house is sooooo big and beautiful...how come our house isn't like that? What?! Who says its not?!  Pop-pitty-pop...pop...pop... Your little happy bubble just collapsed and you look around at the broken steps, fallen gutters, dug up lawn (courtesy of the four legged pet you agreed to in a moment of weakness) and you decide to take this Hallmark moment and make it into a learning experience. Do you realize that we are very lucky to be living here? Daddy works very hard so that we can live in this house...plus, how can mommy make the house look nice when you guys never pick up after yourselves, you eat in every room...leaving crumbs everywhere, Kiki (the furry destroyer of all things) tracks mud and dirt into the house and you guys constantly bounce from bed to sofa as if on a trampoline...there is NO way I'm getting nice furniture until you are all off to college...and that includes the dog!!! Ridiculous!

•  Clothing, shoes, etc:  Now, I must say that so far I've been pretty lucky when it comes to my kids wanting certain things....that is...so far, they are pretty much content with driving me insane with all the electronic stuff (ugh). However, I'm sure that designer jeans, brand name tops, juicy this and couture that are all in our near future. How can we avoid it...honestly? You know you’re in trouble when a kindergartener is told her family must be poor because she always wears the same shoes to school, or when your teenage daughter has accumulated a thousand and one outfits in one year because she can't possibly wear the same dress twice...are you kidding me?Have you encountered anything as bizarre as this?

You see, although I love living here, I must say that it comes at a price. 

Among the mini mansions, luxury cars, state of the art digital apparatus and couture clothing, how do our kids stand a chance?  How skewed will our children’s view on life be? And how do we keep them from becoming self-important little monsters who feel as if they are entitled to anything and everything?

I want to be a good mother, but how can I steer my kids straight when my own compass wavers on occasion....and doesn’t always point due North? (I really did need those shoes....I’ve been looking for that perfect shade of red...and, now all I need is a dress to go with it....What? I’ve put in my time...a girl’s gotta have something...)

But all kidding aside, it’s very important to me that my kids know that they can’t have everything their little hearts desire. Just because a friend has something doesn't mean that they have to have it too. So, for now, if they ask me for something that I feel is not a real necessity, I resort to a firm “No”, or an occasional “maybe” and in a desperate attempt to end all conversation, a teeth baring, guttural, crazed eye “NO! And if you ask me one more time, you're in big trouble....and I mean it!!!” 

Do you have the same concerns? How do you keep your kids grounded in Franklin Lakes?

Well, that’s it for today, I just finished my venti-decaf-light-mocha-frappucino-no whip and....oh my god, is that the NEW iPad....it’s so thin...and that cover is sooo cool....huh (as I glance down at my own “older” iPad, it suddenly feels so heavy)...man, this thing feels like a brick...I think a lighter version would be a lot better...hmmm...

* This is an article I wrote for an online news site