Three for Me

This has truly been a crazy weekend for me. So, to start of my week and to help me find balance again, these are the Three for Me this week:

1. My hubby. He is truly the nicest, most considerate, unselfish person I know. He has been my most fiercest critic and my most loyal supporter. As I look back on my life I realize how undeserving I am and that I really am lucky to have him in my life. It has not always been sunshine and roses for us, but that's expected. He grounds me. I love him for all that he is and isn't....and I know that I don't show my love for him as much as I should....this is something I need to try to do more often.

This is my hubby and I at the school fundraiser
That I mentioned in my post
Behind the Scene with Jules

2. Remember the simple things in life. This is a picture of a bowl that I keep on my foyer table (a table that I pass by a thousand times a day). I had gathered the rocks on my last trip to Cape May and found these little starfish in one of my favorite Cape May stores called Whale's Tale. If you haven't already guessed it, the three starfish represent my three kids and the white rocks remind me to remember how beautiful life is in it's simplest and purest form, so don't sweat the small stuff.

Simplicity of life.

3. A cup of warm Egyptian Licorice Tea. One of my closest friends got me hooked onto this tea by Yogi.....yum. I never ever liked licorice, but for some reason I love this tea. Now, whenever I feel stressed, I go to my pantry and make myself a cup of this tea and my mouth does a little happy dance. I think that I might actually be addicted....one time, I literally tore apart my pantry trying to find the new box I had bought ( finally settling on another tea for the night) only to find it the next day in the snack cabinet, where my daughter had placed it by accident.

Yogi Tea: Egyptian Licorice is my current fav!

Thanks for joining me....what are the three things that you love this week? What brings you comfort?

Don't Pass on Family Time

Originally,  I was going to post a segment on my ever so adorable and well behaved (cough..cough) kids. Well, at least that was the plan as of yesterday morning, but as the day went on and I realized that soon I would be getting into a car and driving into the neighboring state for a short getaway with the family, I had a feeling that I would need to vent....just a little...a teensy weensy, itty bitty vent session.

Now, before I go on, let me say this loud and clear.... I love my husband and I appreciate all the sacrifices that he has made to provide for our family. (The poor guy works all the time and I am damn lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life. I love you, hon.) But, why...shake, shake, shake of the head... when planning a "family" vacation break.... do I now find myself sitting in a casino in the Poconos?

Yes, we took our kids to a gambling establishment.

Is it too early to register my kids for Gamblers Anonymous? Seriously.

All 3 kids had to wear bands so people knew they were under 21
Is it really that hard to figure out?

I know, we are not the easiest to please - with two young teenagers constantly bickering with each other, an energetic eight year old (who always forgets to use her indoor voice) and a wife who secretly (okay, maybe not so secretly) wishes she could just run away - how would one find the perfect solution to a short getaway?

My poor husband took on this very task of trying to get us all excited about the break. Unfortunately for him, we were not cooperating. He asked each of us what we wanted to do and we all responded with the same generic, "I don't care." Which, by the way, really means...

"I don't want to do anything, I'm perfectly happy staying at home, in my pjs, insert your favorite pastime."

Answers:

Oldest kid - vegging out in front of the TV and sleeping
Middle kid - sitting in front of the computer and watching Youtube
Youngest kid - sitting next to my brother, in front of the computer, watching Youtube
me - sleeping...just let me sleep!

With our complete apathy for this "coveted" break, we left my poor husband, who's in dire need of a vacation, feeling...well, needless to say, and rightly so.....a bit annoyed.

So annoyed, he decided to take a Groupon deal to a nearby resort and casino and voila! Here we are.

.....hmmmm.....thinking...thinking...thinking.

Okay. It's really not that bad. In all honesty, it wasn't a totally ill conceived plan. We are staying in a nice hotel with spacious rooms and the food has been good (I totally pigged out - chocolate milkshake, california burger and fries) and apparently there's skiing and snow tubing nearby.

It's really not where we are, but rather who we are with (ugh, that sounds so cliché - but it's true).

So, kudos to my dear husband, who was only trying to get us to do something together.

This only makes up for the fact that we are not somewhere warm.....YUMMY!
The best chocolate shake I've had in years.

Family time is family time!

Next time, when you find yourself somewhere that just isn't your cup of tea, remember this:

It doesn't matter if you are sitting at home in your comfy pjs or out in a smoke filled casino, with the lights flashing and the constant ringing of the slot machines...this is valuable time you have together as a family. Embrace it.

....now, if you will please excuse me, I need to show the kids how to play the pass line.

Behind the Baseline

In a town such as Franklin Lakes, it is not unusual to see kids focusing on a particular sport fairly early on in their lives. I’ve seen kids as young as 4 years of age working on their speed and agility, parents on the sidelines snapping pictures and videotaping the beginnings of a most promising career.

Wanting to give our kids the chances we never had when we were growing up, we eagerly sign them up for a sport that we feel suits their talents, purchase all necessary equipment as well as accessories for their given sport, research area coaches to help give our kids the leg up and then happily dawn on our chauffeur cap in order to shuttle them to their practices, games and tournaments.

Then after all the sacrifices…the umbrella fights in the cold rain, the constant driving back and forth through unyielding traffic, the missed family dinners and quality time we desperately need as a family unit, and the late night homework shuffle …we find ourselves pacing the sidelines like a caged animal as we watch the game unfold and witness the not so bright moments of our young athletes. What are you doing?....Run!!....No, HIT the ball…oh for goodness sakes….

Does any of this sound familiar?

Now, as a parent of a young athlete, I must say that I have been there, done that.

My oldest is a tennis player, but let me start by saying that I most certainly did NOT push her into tennis. This was truly a decision she made on her own and I constantly remind her that if it ever gets to be too much, all she needs to say is “enough.”

So, with that said, when we began playing tennis (I say “we” because this was truly a learning process for the whole family) I soon became a crazy tennis mom. Yes, I admit it. I would sit at her practice for 2 hours straight each day (she practices 5 days a week) speaking to veteran parents behind the baseline, gleaning any pertinent information…watching ….analyzing ….hoping that this could turn into something truly promising (like it did for my cousin who got a full ride to Princeton University….way to go Sarah!)

After months of hard work, we were ready for our very first tournament. I stood under the awning, trying to hide from the intensity of the summer sun….my heart racing, stomach churning, palms sweating, watching with baited breath as the little yellow ball bounced back and forth sometimes seemingly hovering over the net. Every point played felt as if it lasted an eternity.

From nearby courts, I could hear the shuffling of feet, clapping, grunts and occasional raised voices as parents fight with one another while their children battled on the courts (FYI: Tennis parents are vicious!) Finally, it was over….my daughter came in second, losing to a fellow teammate. With heads held high, we congratulated the winner and headed to the car. Needless to say, the hour long car ride was not fun. Frustrated with the performance I just witnessed, I laid into her, lecturing her the entire way home. What happened?....You have to want to win!....You have NO DRIVE!...turn with the hips…. concentrate….follow through….blah blah blah.

I told you I was a crazy tennis mom….

By the time we arrived home, I was hoarse and my daughter was crying…..and for what?! Tennis?

Luckily, my husband who is always the voice of reason (please don’t tell him I said that) told me about his experience as a young aspiring tennis player. He explained how we can’t take the fun out of a sport because when he was a young teen, his father pushed him so hard that eventually he hated the sport and refused to play. Does this sound familiar?

So I thought long and hard about why we want our children to play a sport.  Is it so that they can receive college scholarships, join the Olympic team, play in the US Open? No, although that would be great.

We want them to play a sport so that they can build up their self confidence. I want my children to be confident (not cocky…there is a fine line) and to know who they are and what defines them. I want them to be happy.

So, does my daughter still love tennis? Absolutely. Do I still drive her all over Bergen County for practices and drills? Sure. Does she still compete in tournaments? Of course...but now my husband takes her.

Do you know parents who are living vicariously through their children? Were you one of them?

* This is an article that I wrote for an online news site