(Ugh.....of course, the kids are still up at 10:20pm on a school night when they should be sleeping .....wait a second as I go and have a mommy dearest moment.....)
ok ~ back
Right, what am I doing wrong......Well, this little question has been plaguing my mind for awhile and the reason for this post is because I am trying to figure out if I'm being totally ridiculous. When I think of my parenting "skills", if you can call it that, part of me says....you're doing a great job.....you're a good mom. Then, when we hit one of those bumps in the road....the other part of me shakes her head and screams.....you're messing up....you're being too hard on them and you're going to ruin them forever!
Am I? Do I expect too much from my children?
In all honesty, I don't think that I do, but maybe my prospective is off. Maybe I need to re-evaluate the situation.
My kids do a thousand and one things, to the point that I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, but these are activities that they love and enjoy, so.....I take them even though we are way overbooked.
Then, when it's time to study, I expect them pull their weight. I expect them to complete their homework and projects on time and to study when they need to. If they need help, they know to ask for it, otherwise, I assume they are doing ok.....I'm not one to correct their homework, because I feel the teachers need to see what they are doing right or wrong....so, I do not check their assignments - I just remind them to get it all done.
Some of my friends and family have suggested that maybe I'm too hard on the children when it comes to academics - that I expect to much - "Jules, they can't be perfect." The thing is, I'm not asking for perfection.
Really, I'm not.
I'm just asking for As. That's it. A simple A.
I know you're thinking I'm a Tiger Mom. Well, here's a little background reading that might shed some light on that issue.
I'm not the type of mom that puts her kids in all the top classes and demands straight As. I am, however, the type of mom who expects her kids to do well in the courses they are placed into by their teachers. Is this wrong?
Am I being unreasonable? I don't think so..... If you can spend hours on the computer playing Mine Craft or watching My Little Pony or reruns of Victorious..... you can study a little bit and get at least a 90% on your test (see....I'm not even asking for 100%).
But.....perhaps this is too much pressure.....maybe, I need to take a step back.....hmmmmm
The jury is still out on this one.
My take - you work hard....you play hard.
I might expect a lot from them academically and we definitely burn the midnight oil here, but we also make sure that we make the most of our family time.....when we get them.
What are your thoughts.....this is such a fine line.....how do you balance out your expectations?
When I was growing up, my parents expected me to do well in my classes too. My junior year of high school, I remember going to math tutoring with my teacher, every.single.day after school so I could get an A in the class. It was hard, and I had a lot on my plate, but I knew that I had a responsibility to do well. I think it is good that you want your kids to do well. There is nothing wrong with that. When I was in high school, I had fun on the weekends, but I knew that a majority of the rest of my week needed to be spent on my school work. That work ethic is something I carried with me all through college.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah....I'm sure you loved going to the tutor....every. single. day. UGH! I think my parents were getting ready to disown me. Thanks for the support. I just worry sometimes.....wish these kids came with instruction manuals.
DeleteOh gosh Jules…what a tough question. the fact that you care enough to want them to be the best they can be yet also wonder if you push them too far, means you are an amazing parent! Only you know your kids. I'm sure if you were pushing them too hard, you would be able to tell. My parents were strict and expected a lot from me, but when I was feeling the heat and they KNEW I was giving 100% then they were my biggest support system. If your kids are capable of getting A's then of course you should hold them to that standard. If they aren't then maybe you rethink things at that point, but it doesn't sound like this is the case! Work hard play hard is a great motto and it holds true in every stage of life. I think you are doing a great job. They seem like such happy, well balanced kids and are lucky to have you as a mom!
ReplyDeleteJulie, your comment is so uplifting....thank you so much for stopping by. I think as a parent we are always second guessing ourselves....we just do our best and hope things turn out. :) have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteNewest follower here! I found you through the blog hop. You have a super cute blog, I can't wait to read more. You can find me at meandmr.com
ReplyDelete-Melanie @meandmr.com
Finally getting to respond to people....thank you so much for stopping by. I love your blog name!
DeleteFinally linking up with my Friday Flash Blog community. Thanks for linking up and sharing in the fun! If you figure out the magic balance, let me know!
ReplyDeleteJennifer
www.TheJennyEvolution.com
Hello again....I'm late in responding to this, but I just wanted to say thank you for stopping by!
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