A-Hem.....A-Hem...Your Skirt is Too Short!

Don't look now, but have you taken a good look at the length or lack of length in the clothing that young girls are wearing these days?

Courtesy of Samantha Villagran

I love fashion and I think it's a great way to express yourself, but when you are thirteen or fourteen years old, there has got to be some limitations. Don't you think?

Last year, I attended an event where the father of the birthday girl commented on the inappropriate attire that their guest were wearing. A sea of crazy heels, strapless tops, short dress...and a constant battle between adjusting and readjusting filled the room. He mimicked the girls.... as they desperately pulled their dresses up to keep it from falling only to shimmy it down to cover their tushies... Ridiculous was the only word he could mutter.

For those of you who have children in middle school and high school, I'm sure that you have heard parents whispering in corners.....look at that dress....it's soooo short....she can't even walk in those shoes.....oh my God, would you let your daughter wear that....

Would you?

How do you tell your daughter "No", when all her friends are wearing short party dresses and 5 inch heels that they can barely walk in? (UGH....one of my biggest pet peeves is seeing a woman wobble her way across the room....it's so unattractive....)

I really honestly don't know what the answer is, but I think that we need to sit these girls down and have a serious talk.

So girls, listen up!

You're young and beautiful. Be confident in who you are. Don't parade yourself around in short skirts and high heels, thinking your all that.....cause honestly, it's back firing.....you're giving off the wrong signals. Be classy......leave something to be desired. Don't give it all away at first glance, because they won't be coming back for more.......or if they do, it's not for who you are as a person.

Too harsh? Maybe....but it drives me nuts to see these young girls primping themselves up as if they are these sexual creatures ready for the picking....and I don't care if they're wearing this designer dress or that designer dress....women and girls are different....what might be appropriate for us is just not appropriate for them.

I'm not a "hater"...I know where I am in my life and I embrace it wholeheartedly, flabby tummy, wrinkles and all (and to my girlfriends out there, if you ever catch me wearing an outfit that is TOO young for me - tell me!).

I'm just sad.....

...sad to see the beauty and innocence of young women fall victim to society's depiction of what is considered "attractive".

How do you feel about this? Do you think that society and the media have skewed the perception of beauty for young women? Have they under-minded our daughters and and shaken their self confidence? What's the solution?

Before I started writing this post, I had discuss this topic with a good friend of mine and she sent me this message that was posted by a friend of hers:

I see more and more girls & ladies who have one thing missing that they should never lose... what is it? Class. Agree? Be classy girls, keep your standards up there. Be hard to get. Accept nothing but the best for you. You are worth it. And ladies... just picture a classy gal in your head, look up the word and strive for that. It's a good thing.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I believe that we as women and mothers, should unite and firmly stand our ground. Let's not let our daughters measure their self worth by their hemline.

And girls, know this.....you deserve only the best....don't lower yourself and your standards, instead, raise them and rise above them.

Be strong.......Be classy......Be girls.

It is a good thing.

Courtesy of Ignacioleo Leonardi

Mom-Petitors

Now, I feel that it is safe to say that we are all very proud of our children and of their accomplishments, whether big or small. I also feel that it is safe to say that most adults would be happy to hear about accomplishments that other children have achieved, whether they received straight A’s on a report card, or have become an accomplished musician or athlete, or if they are just an all around great kid. However, what do you do when you come face to face with a hard core "Mom-petitor"? 

What's a Mom-petitor? Oh, you know.....one ofthose mom's who likes to compare her child to everyone else's, just to make sure that they are where they should be, which in her mind is ahead of yours. 

Have you run into any of these lovely women? I must say that so far my experience in Franklin Lakes has been very pleasant, although I can't say the same for some of my girlfriends (pssst....don't worry.....what goes around comes around....) 

Now, when I was a kid, I was an unwilling participant to the "let's compare our kids" madness. Mind you, my mother was a "Tiger Mom", albeit a lenient one and all her friends were pretty much the same. Unfortunately for my dear mother, I never seemed to be considered one of the "top" kids in our group of friends. It was always, so and so scored a perfect SAT score, so and so got into Harvard, so and so got into Medical school, so and so surprised her mother with a brand new Mercedes for her birthday...can I barf now? Ugh, seriously....a Mercedes why not the Porsche?Please… 

It wasn't that my mom sought out this information that made me feel totally inferior, on the contrary, she tried her best to avoid these discussions (I would too if I had a daughter like me, but that's a story for another day). However, when you're standing face to face, or stuck in a corner with one of these competitive, no EQ type of mom, you have no choice but to listen and try to smile politely as you secretly grind your teeth and wring your hands, hoping that something catastrophic would occur so you could make your escape (which of course never happens). 

I grew up hating...absolutely despising some of the kids in our community. Even to this day if my mom mentions "so and so's" name I cringed! I know, I know, I'm older now and I should be able to look past all that, but those crazy "mom-petitors" made my life miserable when I was younger and I honestly think that they scarred me. 

In fact, one evening a bunch of our old college friends got together for dinner in New York. We were having a blast, talking and laughing while the kids all played nicely in the family room. All of a sudden a friend of ours says, "Hey kids, let's all come to the piano and have a little concert. You can all play a piece that you have been working on. How does that sound?" WHAT!?  How does that sound? It sounds awful! 

As I watched the children file into the living room, everything suddenly went into slow motion as if in one of those action movies.....I leaped over the kitchen table, stumbled across the hallway into the living room, yanked my two kids from the lineup, glanced at my imaginary watch, hollered to the hostess that we had to leave because it was getting late, as I tossed our shoes and jackets into my bag and flew out of the house. Made it….we’re safe….whew! That was close! 

Have you ever been in a situation where you fled the scene of an impending "kid comparison" setup? How did you cope with the situation? 

Alright, perhaps I overreacted just a tad, but I never liked being compared to other kids when I was younger and I don't want to put my children through that either. I want my kids to be confident in whom they are and not undermine them by comparing them to others. Now, mind you, I am by no means saying that I don't occasionally compare my kids to other children...I am, after all, still human.......I'm not perfect (believe it or not....hee hee). 

So to all the "mom-petitors" out there, I'm happy that your child was potty trained right out of the womb, and that they can speak 3 languages at age four, take college courses while in elementary school and earn $60,000 just over the summer......but, can they do this?!......oh, right.....you can't see me......oh well, it's probably for the better....

*This is an article that I wrote for an online news site